Due to overwhelming demand, “Getting to Know Me Better” is back. I hope you enjoy, if for no other reason than it may put into perspective your own weird things or comparable lack thereof. Consider this a service I offer free of charge. In future instalments I promise no more pictures of me wearing my shower cap, but I can’t promise you won’t want to unsee/unread/unknow some of the stuff that surfaces from deep within my brain.
Today’s revelation: I secretly wish I could grow a moustache or a beard. My desire goes so far that I am a bit annoyed that I don’t have the option of growing one (at least not yet).
There is so much appeal to having a beard:
- If I had a really bushy beard, I could stroke it when I’m deep in thought.
- Alternatively, I could look quite distinguished with a well-groomed cookie duster that wiggles when I talk.
- I might occasionally find bits of food in there like Mr Twit from The Twits.
- The styling options are endless! (said in infomercial voice).
- There is also the mysterious aspect to it; what exactly are you hiding under all that facial hair?
I have been thinking about this for a while now and as though the God of face whiskers himself was smiling on me I came across these images on So Bad, So Good. Depending on how you see it, they are hilarious/arousing/disturbing images of attractive female celebrities now with added facial hair.
It’s so hard to pick a favourite… a little like choosing one’s favourite child (or so I would imagine). But I think I like this one for it’s stylised ‘stache and designer-stubble combo.
I also like the bushy fullness of this one…
Since my hairy time may never come I decided to use my advanced photo editing skills to realise my dream. I call this series, “Mirstache-anda: what could have been”.
While my dream may never be fulfilled I shall have to remain content with creepily stroking the furry faces of unwilling male friends and staring down bearded men on the street. I apologise in advance if your face-locks and I cross paths. And I sincerely hope your dreams are more within reach.
I will leave you with some music by The Beards, “If your dad doesn’t have a beard, you’ve got two mums”
And we’re done here.
Ps. If you’re wondering about the duckling, that’s a story for another day.
Beards are indeed wonderful things. I pity your lack of facial hair
Many thanks for your sympathy. I feel like I have so much unfulfilled potential!
I pick the first picture for you, you’re such a hairy hottie. 🙂
I’m really sorry you can’t grow a beard. How about a stick on? I like the French style!
I have dabbled with stick-ons in the past, they are a fun imitation!
One of the most challenging and funny blogs I’ve read in a long time. Well done!
Cheers – thanks for reading 🙂
You should totally grow the French beard! I have a friend like that, and he totally gets all the attention from the ladies. Or maybe it’s cos he’s Italian.
I LOVE THE SONG!! Hahaha, it’s amazing.
Glad you appreciated, they have a lot of other hilarious songs too! Good fun.
Yeah, I had a browse through their youtube account and posted this video to facebook. My friends think it’s great too, haha. Thanks!
Awesome! Glad I could share the bearded love 😉
The hair didn’t bother me, but that beret… I can’t deal with that.
I have the same goal though mine is a little more within reach. I can grow a moustache and goatee, but sadly the beard eludes me.
I’ll send positive thoughts your way.
Keep eating your vegetables and maybe one day 😉
Pingback: Search Terms That Have Lead People to The Naked Envelope | The Naked Envelope