10 Frightening Ways I’m Becoming My Parents

Lately I’ve noticed a few alarming things about myself. Things I would have never dreamed I’d say, do or be. It’s a scary reality and it’s happening fast… I am becoming my parents and this is how:

  1. Sometimes I get out of bed before 8am on the weekend, even though I don’t have to.
  2. I have listened to ABC NewsRadio, Radio National and 702 ABC Sydney all separately in the past week.
  3. I always put the bins out and send back the return to sender mail.
  4. Last night I chose to watch political coverage of the Labor leadership challenge over the State of Origin footy game… And I liked it.
  5. I tell my roommates that using blankets to keep warm is more efficient than a heater. When I’m cold I can actually hear my mother’s voice…“stop whinging and put some more clothes on”.
  6. I am mad for recycling. Recently I even emailed the local government to find out if a type of plastic was recyclable… Who am I?
  7. I made my housemate put some meat he was defrosting on a plate so the meat juice wouldn’t drip all over the fridge.
  8. I don’t have kids, but the thought of taking children to the Sydney Easter Show sickens me with terror.
  9. Sometimes I don’t know what new slang words mean and have to ask someone younger than me to explain it.
  10. I have Four Corners series linked on my Foxtel IQ.

Conversely, I still enjoy going to places with loud music and drunk people. I don’t have a mortgage or follow interest rate announcements intently. I don’t consider grocery shopping to be a fun outing nor do I consider doing the vacuuming at 7am on a Saturday an actual possibility. I still get asked for ID and at work am often looked to for the “young person’s” perspective. So until I find myself on the couch awoken by the rolling credits of Midsomer Murders on a Friday night, all is not lost. However, the slow forward march to death IS happening. And I look forward to one day being able to unashamedly yell at small children to keep off my grass.

16 thoughts on “10 Frightening Ways I’m Becoming My Parents

  1. Hey Miranda,

    I never yelled at small children to keep off the grass, I yelled at big children to mow the grass. By the way Midsummer Murders is on earlier on Foxrel so you can acrually stay awke to see who dunnit.


  2. Oh dear, we IQ Agatha Christie’s in my house, is it all over for me?
    I still hate grocery shopping but can sometimes be caught on am radio… Oh ohhh

  3. I decided not to set an alarm this morning and have a big sleep in. 8.37am I’m wide awake!? What is happening to us; we’re meant to lounge in til 10!

  4. My classmate was visiting this past weekend. We made plans on how we will “rock the dancefloor” ages ago, but after a painfully boring predrink session in a bar, instead of going clubbing. i bought a falafel (whatever that means) and went home, because i “was not in the party mood”… Crocs and rice pudding is just around the corner for me…

    What are we becoming???
    p.s. love your writing!

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