Sometimes I win, sometimes I lose… here are a couple of my recent losses…
- The back gate: it seems unassuming enough, but I tried to open it last week and somehow whacked my knee on a corner of the wall next to it. Then I slammed the gate into myself, making my back spasm as I keeled over in pain from my smashed knee. I’m still not quite sure how I did it, but the (now slightly rounded) corner where I hit my knee taunts me every time I walk out there.
- Salt & vinegar chips: they’re my favourite. Once I start, I can’t stop. However, lately I’ve noticed when I eat them (all of them) they seem to burn off all my taste buds and I can’t taste anything for the next day. And then all my taste buds turn white and fall off…. does this happen to anyone else? Don’t worry, I won’t put a photo… it’s pretty gross.
- The floor: gave me a splinter the other day. Stupid floor.
- Coke bottle: after a hard mornings shopping at Kmart (who am I?) I rewarded myself with an icy drink. Turns out pushing a shopping trolley and holding a bottle isn’t as simple as you may think. As the trolley started veering towards the road somehow I managed to drop the plastic drink bottle on my toe. I immediately doubled in pain while the trolley fell onto the road and the contents of my handbag spilled everywhere. It drew blood and everything and the bruise is still there… look!
That was three weeks ago…
- The ocean: living in my new hood has gifted me with the ocean at my doorstep – you big beautiful wet thing! However, this ocean has tendency for some rather large, rather dumpy waves. Which if you’re not careful could pick you up and take you for an unsolicited ride. One such wave caught me off guard and dragged me, limbs flailing, about 7 metres against my will while my bikini managed to collect all the sand. You win this round, ocean.
Don’t be fooled by its charm…
Anything gotten the better of you lately, friends?
the blank notebook 
Yes! The public must be informed about back gates. I misunderstood a latch at Easter and now I have no pointer nail.
DOWN WITH BACK GATES!!! #gategate
A wooden box got the better of me. You’d think a simple jump onto a box wouldn’t be so hard. My shin begs to differ. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8MT-tG8xVWc
Oh no… Shins cop is so bad… I can empathise with you there!!!
Re salt and vinegar chips: my tongue has just finished pealing after eating a family-sized packet in one sitting. No one else believed me that this was a thing. This is a thing!
Ahhhh I’m glad it’s not only me… I too mentioned it to a few people and they were like “no that’s not a thing” and then you read my blog and now we can all agree it’s a thing!!!
Do you still want to eat them even though you know the repercussions? I do… Not sure if that’s good or bad…
I stopped counting how many times a glass door got the better of me. The mixture of pain an embarrassment i get when i WALK INTO that thing… God, help me
And how are we even supposed to see it, it is see through!!
Stupid glass door… It’s its own fault really…
The dumpy waves sound scary –
Completely “not funny” but helpful comment as I’m a Perthlings who frequents the same beaches, you’re coming into surf season along Cottesloe, so the waves are only going to get bigger!
http://www.seabreeze.com.au/graphs/wa.asp
Top Graph, when the blue bit is low (water) and the arrows are pointing to the right, that’s safe bikini swimming! 😛
That is actually super useful – thanks dude 🙂
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