Sometimes I win, sometimes I lose… here are a couple of my recent losses…
- The back gate: it seems unassuming enough, but I tried to open it last week and somehow whacked my knee on a corner of the wall next to it. Then I slammed the gate into myself, making my back spasm as I keeled over in pain from my smashed knee. I’m still not quite sure how I did it, but the (now slightly rounded) corner where I hit my knee taunts me every time I walk out there.
- Salt & vinegar chips: they’re my favourite. Once I start, I can’t stop. However, lately I’ve noticed when I eat them (all of them) they seem to burn off all my taste buds and I can’t taste anything for the next day. And then all my taste buds turn white and fall off…. does this happen to anyone else? Don’t worry, I won’t put a photo… it’s pretty gross.
- The floor: gave me a splinter the other day. Stupid floor.
- Coke bottle: after a hard mornings shopping at Kmart (who am I?) I rewarded myself with an icy drink. Turns out pushing a shopping trolley and holding a bottle isn’t as simple as you may think. As the trolley started veering towards the road somehow I managed to drop the plastic drink bottle on my toe. I immediately doubled in pain while the trolley fell onto the road and the contents of my handbag spilled everywhere. It drew blood and everything and the bruise is still there… look!
- The ocean: living in my new hood has gifted me with the ocean at my doorstep – you big beautiful wet thing! However, this ocean has tendency for some rather large, rather dumpy waves. Which if you’re not careful could pick you up and take you for an unsolicited ride. One such wave caught me off guard and dragged me, limbs flailing, about 7 metres against my will while my bikini managed to collect all the sand. You win this round, ocean.
Anything gotten the better of you lately, friends?