Peanuts for Allergies – Controversial Allegations Enough to Take the Rose out of Every Cheek

Posted on February 1, 2015 by the blank notebook

Controversial allegations have come to light that suggest senior executives at Vegemite created peanut allergies in efforts to reclaim some of their lost market share. A series of leaked emails allege operation ‘Down with P: V on Top’ was an ongoing take-down strategy that aimed to get peanut butter banned from schools and force parents to use allergy-friendly Vegemite.

One of the most shocking elements to the controversy was the alleged payment of school children to fake the illness Continue reading →

Hottest 100 Predictions – What’s Going On This Australia Day?

Posted on January 24, 2015 by the blank notebook

Ken oath I love ‘straya. I’d potentially call myself ‘patriotic’ if it didn’t have the cringe worthy associations with racism and shame surrounding our colonial past. But I’m not here to lecture on our issues with racism, our binge drinking culture, or our national identity issues – I’m not actually clever enough to write about those things anyway. Instead I’m writing about the things I like about Australia Day, that is: barbequed meats; an obligation to eat lamingtons; and triple j’s Hottest 100. Continue reading →

Bah Humbug! Down with Christmas!

Posted on December 10, 2014 by the blank notebook

It’s beginning to look a lot like I AM GOING TO SHOVE THOSE CHRISTMAS BAUBLES UP YOUR CHIMNEY IF YOU DON’T BACK THE F*** UP, Santa! You too Rudolph, if that even is your real name…

Seriously get out of the way, scrooge is coming through with big plans to hate, hate, hate all over your Christmas.

Turning 18, becoming fully self-dependent, purchasing a vacuum cleaner… all things we use to classify the transition to adulthood – until now. Continue reading →

20 Things We Can All Agree On

Posted on April 10, 2014 by the blank notebook

There are so many things in this crazy world that people disagree on. Some things are necessary to improving how society functions, others less so.

But sometimes you want a break from the back and forth. So today’s post is all about things we can agree on… Continue reading →

My Shitty Results in Buzzfeed Quizzes Are Giving Me a Complex

Posted on February 6, 2014 by the blank notebook

The results are in. And if the scientific basis of the Buzzfeed quizzes are anything to go by (which they obviously are) my personality is looking more than questionable. Getting the worst option in one or two “which something are you?” style quizzes can be funny, but it’s happened to me too many times to count. It’s made me wonder: is it me?

Some of my recent Buzzfeed quiz results include:

Bluth family member: Buster Bluth

Arrested Development is one of my favourite comedy’s so I was extremely excited to take this quiz. And then I got Buster… Continue reading →

Santa, you better pack the big sack this year…

Posted on December 19, 2013 by the blank notebook

Dear Santa,

I’m calling bullshit on your annual delivery of underwear and pyjamas, enough is enough. You need to quit it with your small-time stocking stuffers and take this shit big picture. Think of it as making up for the other 364 days of the year where all you do is sit on your gingerbread and candy cane throne and judge the citizens’ of the world. And just who are you calling a ho? For shame, Santa. Level with me a minute and hear me out, I just have a few simple requests.

Please can I have for Christmas:

To be BFF’s with Tina Fey. We’ll braid each other’s hair, tell each other secrets and cry about boys together. On Wednesday we’ll wear pink. And we would NEVER write about each other in the Burn book.
A basic understanding of physics. Including, but not limited to, how it’s possible that planes can fly in the air… srsly. Continue reading →

12 Signs it’s Time to Switch to Adult Radio

Posted on April 28, 2013 by the blank notebook

There are a lot tough questions in life, some of which may never be answered… Which is the path to true happiness? Is there life after death? Should I cut a fringe? And perhaps the most pressing of all*: how do I know it’s time to make the switch to adult radio?

Recently I learnt that the target age of my favourite music radio station is people 18-24, yet the adult talk station I would progress to is broadly aimed at those aged 40+. This leaves me floating in some kind of radio-station-limbo-land… much like an unused tampon, lost in a handbag. Continue reading →

10 Internet Things to Make You Smile

Posted on March 30, 2013 by the blank notebook

Recently a good friend of mine (let’s call her Catalina…) needed a bit of cheering up. Being on the other side of Earth my usual strategy (performing a liturgical dance to the music of Shania Twain) just wouldn’t do. Instead I used my refined skills in online procrastination to pull together a bunch of my favourite smile-inducing-interweb-things to send her. Then I thought maybe we could all use a few cheeky grins so I have put together a selection of them here. Also it is the Easter long weekend and I’ve got a lot of business* to get through so I wanted to get this post up quickly. And on that note…

1. Sloths… Let’s be honest, I could do ten awesome things just about sloths but I’ll try and contain myself… SQUEEEEEE-BABY SLOTHS BATHED IN TEA AND HUNG TO DRY ON CLOTHES HORSES!!! Um… also… baby sloths in onesies spooning. And yes Sloth…. you can fly! Continue reading →

The Do’s and Don’ts of Backpacking Packing

Posted on January 20, 2013 by the blank notebook

It’s been a few years since I bought a one-way ticket to a new continent, strapped on my large backpack, and went exploring. *sigh* While this makes me sad, I thought I’d pass on some of the things I’d learned about how to pack your backpack.

Packing

Don’t take more than 15kgs: You’ll really feel those extra kilos when you’ve arrived in Lisbon with no accommodation and are schlepping to the third floor of ten different pensions looking for a room (definitely earned my Portuguese tart that day). Also some of the cheaper airlines have a 15kg limit on checked baggage with hefty fines if you inch over this weight ( and there are only so many pairs of pants you can wear at one time). Continue reading →

Questions and Answers: Internet fears, pandogs & superglued

Posted on December 6, 2012 by the blank notebook

Tonight on Questions and Answers I’ll be answering a couple of your burning questions. You know how we all have that friend who everybody turns to for answers? Well that’s never been me (I’m not that great of a listener) but maybe I just never had the chance. And isn’t Christmas about giving people chances? Or is that Easter? Hmm… Either way I’m still going to do this post because I already typed some of it up. Let’s get into it…

Question1: Internet world…

Things are tough out there on the mean pages of the web. This question is really more of a personal opinion. But since you asked so nicely, Emily, I will have to say the comments section of various news sites truly haunt my nightmares. I can’t show you enough examples. Some of the best advice I’ve read is from the talented Elmo Keep: “Don’t read the bottom half of the internet”. Continue reading →

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